Latest Software Development Methodologies – Funny but True!

If you are a software professional, you would have come across various software development models / frameworks – such as Waterfall, Spiral, Agile, SCRUM, Extreme Programming, Test Driven Development, etc.. There are some interesting ‘models’ which you would have experienced in your rojects, but forgot to call it with a name. Scott Berkun has posted a few such funny but well-known development models, and there are a few hundred comments added by software professionals from there experience. I have copied a few selected such methods. (Yeah! I am following the Copy Paste Blogging Model! LOL  [via @Scobleizer]

Asshole Driven development (ADD) – Any team where the biggest jerk makes all the big decisions is asshole driven development. All wisdom, logic or process goes out the window when Mr. Asshole is in the room, doing whatever idiotic, selfish thing he thinks is best. There may rules and processes, but Mr. Asshole breaks them and people follow anyway.

Ass Licking Management (ALM) – This is the management which is ready to lick its employee’s ass to keep them in the company…Most of the time, these employees follow GMPM methodology by finishing the assignment with hacks.

Cover Your Ass Engineering (CYAE) – The driving force behind most individual efforts is to make sure than when the shit hits the fan, they are not to blame.

Get Me Promoted Methodology (GMPM) – People write code and design things to increase their visibility, satisfy their boss’s whims, and accelerate their path to a raise or the corner office no matter how far outside of stated goals their efforts go. This includes allowing disasters to happen so people can be heroes, writing hacks that look great in the short term but crumble after the individual has moved on, and focusing more on the surface of work than its value.


Not My Problem (NMP) / Musical Chairs Style Development – All complex, complicated, expensive, or otherwise troublesome decisions/features/issues are pushed into someone else’s module.

Shovel-Driven Development -Get it out the door as quickly as possible, cut-n-paste from anything that you find that works on Google, if it works it’s ready. Closely related to “Duct-tape Driven Design”

Blog Driven Development – Developers who are constantly thinking about the subject of their next blog post. Nearly every somewhat interesting line of code they write is extracted into a blog post.

Budget Driven Development (BDD) – The time that a project will take is dictated by how much the client will pay, instead of how long it will take to develop the application, generally leading to massively over-budget projects.DBC – Development By Crisis (Management By Crisis) – Everything is a Crisis. Every task, you have to “Drop everything” and work all night long! Woe to the developer that mentions that the user acceptance testing doesn’t even begin for another 2 months… Everything is a disaster.

Must Use Specific Technology Development (MUSTP) – IN many projects where someone (even sometimes a reasonably smart and technically savvy engineer) dictates that the solution “must” use a specific technology (EJBs, XML, OODBMS, OSI protocol, .NET, Smalltalk, etc.) “because it’s the future”. Of course, you end up shoe-horning the technology into places where it clearly doesn’t fit – or it’s too immature to use successfully and eventually everyone looks back and says: “why the hell did we do that?”

Blame it on the Developer (BD) – When the application fails due to oversights on the part of the project manager, the developer is blamed. The developer may have warned you that the application wasn’t ready for release, that components from other groups weren’t ready and tested, but it was released anyway. This is often a resume building moment for the developer.

I Was an Expert Once Syndrome (IWEOS) – senior-level people “contributing” because of their years of “expertise” that grant them the inalienable right to shit on every discussion, whine about everything out of their comfort zone and squeeze in every last “favorite” feature into the final product.

Client Wants It Anyway(CWI) – no matter how inane or unusable, just because the marketing teams wants it then it has to be in there. Usually an over-budget, non-spec’ed that will never be paid for – this way of developing is usually propagated by weak and ham-fisted Project Managers.

CRAP = Completely Redundant Application Process – You create the same application someone in your company, division, department, or cubicle has already created. But you either A) want to write your own, or B) had no idea someone else had done it.

Management By Panic (MP) methodology. Every management action is predicated by an “emergency” change. Usually executed in the absence of planning.

Just One More Feature Outside Schedule (JOMFOS) – Regardless how high the pressure, how tight the schedule, or how late the project – JOMFOS product managers can always find something strategic (read: we have to land this contract) and groundbreaking (read: this one customer think it is clever) that not only breaks the current design, but also has to be squeezed in before the unmoving (yeah, right) release date.

Check out the post at Scott Berkun or add a comment below.

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